you guys were way drunker than both of me
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
