I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
