Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
