I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
