no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
