How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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