I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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