Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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