Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
