We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
