Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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