so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
