If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Randomize
