Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
