He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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