Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
