Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Panties = found
Randomize
