Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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