Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
