I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I need water and some morals
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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