shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
