rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
