Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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