I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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