saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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