can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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