Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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