wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Randomize
