I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
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