Girls should come with a carfax report
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize