Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
All I want is dick and wine.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
