I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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