And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
