When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
