If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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