fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
