if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
