SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize