Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Randomize
