I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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