My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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