it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I wear drunk well.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
