Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
