I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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