Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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