everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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