This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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