you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
