i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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