It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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