I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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