But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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