Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
