You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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