Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
