Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i will never coherently bang her
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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