SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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