Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
