how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
