I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
