well most of my day revolves around power hour
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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