he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
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