Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Randomize
