med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
