i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
