This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
